And This Is How I Live My Life
And This Is How I Live My Life
 ( 2009 )
And This Is How I Live My Life DVD Cover
Out Now

NTSC format DVD-R (60 minutes).

All material filmed by Adrian Montes (Noise Vision) unless otherwise noted.

  1. Untitled #1/Creep


    She was perfect
    She made me hate myself
    I used to smile at her over the counter
    Halfhearted smile and nod returned
    Without recognition in her eyes
    She lived her life in a beautiful glass bubble
    Her friends and lovers
    Refined, intelligent, talented
    I never touched her
    Never even spoke to her
    She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen
    Even back then I knew she would be a star

    I cut out everything I could find
    Pictures, stories, interviews
    Bedroom wallpaper shrine
    Sometimes she threw out locks of her hair
    For me to find in her trash at night
    I read all her books
    Dressed like her friends
    Stopped eating
    Started pumping iron
    When I cut myself I hid the scars
    I had to make myself worthy of her
    Deserving of her affections
    And when I was perfect
    We would consummate our elopement
    In a dark alley or abandoned building
    I would have a gift in my pocket
    She would wear a rose round her neck

    But it's all for nothing now
    It was more than a lock of hair
    Stuffed into a dumpster
    In an alley behind her apartment
    Laid on a bed of broken glass
    Raped... murdered... and other things
    I cried at her funeral
    After everyone else had gone
    It wasn't me
    I couldn't even touch her
    She died in the arms of another lover
    I didn't do it
    But I wish I had
    Now I don't know what to do

    Recorded live at the Smash Palace Festival
    December 8th, 2008
    Cambridge, Massachusetts

  2. The Abyss/The Mouth Rebels/Packing

    The Abyss:

    You are the abyss
    The great yawning chasm
    Where the dirt meets the sea
    When we stare into the darkness
    We see the past and future
    Of a life lived in slavery

    Roughly we plumb the depths
    With cords tethered at our waists
    And succumbing believe ourselves conquerors

    But the reflective among us
    See the abyss staring back
    Our image in the reflecting pool
    A visage of the demon you created
    With scars and bloody wings
    We flee from these depths
    But there's no where to fly to
    The heavens are a white sand desert
    Empty in the blinding light

    We cannot escape our tethers
    Pulled down to earth and clay
    Enshrined in ashes and dust
    We are committed to the earth
    In a chasm underground
    Where the dirt meets the sea

    The Mouth Rebels:
    Squat down & squirt it out
    Swirl around in your glass
    Stick your nose in and take a sip
    Judge it by color and texture and taste

    The Mouth Rebels hold tasting parties
    In urban lofts and suburban basements
    Trading mouthfeels and finishes
    Claiming victory or defeat, through
    Gastrointestinal fortitude

    All that we consume today
    Is devoid of nutritional value
    Factory foam wrapped in pleasing flavors
    Leaving diners engorged but hungry

    The Mouth Rebels respond in kind
    Stripping all they ingest
    Of savory or sweet
    They survive just as well
    On their self-produced food
    All-natural and 100% recycled
    Filtered through the bowels of their friends

    Additional audio captured by Ben Stepner

    Recored live at O'Brien's Pub
    October 12th, 2009
    Allston, Massachusetts

  3. Lord & Karlheinz

    Recorded live at the Piano Factory
    February 25th, 2009
    Boston, Massachusetts

  4. White Noise Xmas

    with Donna Parker and Sebastien Raseman
    Filmed by Alice Cox

    Recorded live at O'Brien's Pub
    December 27th 2001
    Allston, Massachusetts