"Fucking" was originally released on RRRecords as a CD-R in a limited edition of 100. It's sold out in that format; but fortunately, it's now re-released as a 12" LP picture disc. The picture disc has a new track on it (called, appropriately, "Fucking"), so it does not include the track "I'm Happy, I Guess."

The photos for the picture disc were taken by Ruhiyyah Comack in the basement of Dudley Electric - thanks to her for not laughing at my genetalia. I'd like to thank Noel for the use of the basement, and Rich for the mattress that we used. The picture disc came out incredibly well, and the mastering (from Aardvark) came out great. For the curious, the symbols on the A-side of the LP are anagramatic letters of the word "Karlheinz" (check it on your turntable).

The CD-R version came in a black cardstock sleeve. The front cover consisted of the Karlheinz "hands" logo; the back had the lyrics, printed in the same style as the adult personals in the Boston Phoenix. (Because I was stupid, I didn't actually put the name of the album on the cover.) Each one was photocopied onto whatever pornography Ron was tired of looking at.

Here's what people are saying:

"the RRR release is the best work I've heard you do to date"

--Deftly D, of Zero Times Infinity and Voidstar Productions

"the new KARLHEINZ - Fucking CDr on RRR is brilliant - destined to become a classic"

-A totally unbiased opinion from Ron Lessard, owner of RRRecords

Tracks: 
1. Fucking
   (6:08)

   This is not an act of love. This has nothing to do with pride. It is not beautiful. It is not empowering. It doesn't make you better. It doesn't make you stronger. It's not rebellious or shocking or dangerous. It's not even sick. It's just ugly. And it will always be ugly. Because it's just meat.

   I want you to realize how sad it makes you. I want you to understand how desperate you are. I want you to be disgusted by your weakness. I want you to mutilate yourself. I want you to murder yourself. I want you to hate yourself for needing it. And I want you to do it just the same.

2. Cum For Me
   (11:56)

   Cum for me. Why won't you cum. I've been working on you for hours. I know you want it. You all want it. I'm giving it to you. I'm the fucking champ. You should be excited. You should have cum by now. Why won't you cum. What the fuck is the matter with you. Don't just lie there. Cum for me. Come on. Aaaahhh...
   Fuck, that was good. Shut up. Stop crying. Now get dressed and get out.

3. The Most Beautiful Girl In The World
   (6:08)

   Tell me I'm beautiful. Say it. You're lucky to have me. You know it. I'm too good for you. I want you to tell me. I want you to say it. I won't do it until you say it. Tell me you're a creep. Tell me how old you are. Tell me you're pathetic. Tell me how it feels to be a disgusting little worm. You're nothing without me. Nothing. You need me, but I don't need you. I could walk out right now and find a hundred more like you. But you'll never get anyone young and beautiful like me. Not anymore. Count your blessings. Tell me how fucking lucky you are. Now give me some money. Thank you. I love you, Daddy.

4. Next Time
   (7:37)

   ...I'll settle for what I can get. She asks I won't say no. I won't let it influence me. I won't believe I deserved it. I won't tell her that I love her. It won't be me getting used. I'll believe she deserved it. I won't let her enjoy it. She'll leave crying. She won't leave at all. I'll stop the van. I'll make it all fit. It won't be so messy. I'll get someone young. I won't feel guilty. I won't get caught.

5. A Perfect World
   (4:36)

   Let's cut the shit. We both know why we're here. We both know the desire that lies behind your lifestyle. Garter belts. Restrictive corsets. Fishnet stockings. High-heeled leather boots. Black velvet. Egyptian tattoos. Skull rings. Makeup white as a corpse. Childlike internal fantasies. Eating disorders. Scars from hesitation marks. Needle tracks. Uncaring boyfriends and abusive lovers. The ones who never went far enough. Spanking games. Handcuffs. Erotic submission. Cloth whips. Leather straps. Clothespins. Ball gags. Rope bondage. Breath control. Safewords. Tit needles. Electric cunt torture. Blood sadism. You've spent your life as a lost little girl. Wandering through the woods to Grandma's house. Searching for a wolf to eat you up. I know what you want. Because I want it too. Tonight, we're both going to get what we want. You get to die. I get to cum. It's a perfect world.

6. I'm Happy, I Guess (CD-R Only)
   (5:58)

   It's dark in the booth. There's semen on the glass in front of the video screen. I concentrate on the images on the screen. I close my eyes and let them swim in my head. But it doesn't help.
   She's between my legs. Black and painted and accessable. She's been trying to suck me off for an hour. I want to come - I want my semen to pollute her - but I can't. I finally push her away.
   She wants her turn now. She stands up and lifts her skirt. She makes me suck her cock. It's long and black and uncircumcised and smells like feet and baby powder.
   She comes quickly and in my mouth. I swallow it automatically, barely even tasting it. Before she can even arrange her dress, I stand up and leave. I don't want to look back. I don't want to know what her face looks like.
   I walk out without buying anything, but the man at the counter barely notices.
   It's been a year since my wife died. Immunodeficiency provoking severe pneumonia and acute respiratory collapse. Twelve months ago in the hospital. White walls and white sheets and white robes with tiny blue flowers on them. Clear plastic tubes in her arms and chest and throat and mouth and vagina. Old brown blood and sepia iodine on stretched yellowing skin.
   My fingers pushing in below the catheter in her vagina. Other hand around my cock under my coat. I stood up and my cum mixed with the blood and iodine on her yellowing skin.
   The semen on her skin was the same color as always. The same as was on the face of that Asian hooker. The same as the obese black kid's that I sucked out of his cock for $20. The same as on that anonymous blonde housewife in the hotel room at the convention. The same as on the back of that skinny older gentleman, and his wife never knew either.
   That night in the hospital was the last time I came.
   That doesn't stop me.
   Nobody notices me on the walk home. I turn the latch, and the door opens into clammy darkness. My coat is wet when I take it off so it must have been raining outside.
   Ignore the smell of rotten food in the kitchen. Up the stairs and into the bedroom. Sagging, stained matress and fifteen-inch TV. Unwashed plates piled next to the bed.
   They still haven't found the kids.
   I don't know why I do it. I'm driven to it. I'm driven to it and I don't know why.
   The drive is stronger than semen. Stronger than right and wrong. Stronger than consequences. I watch the breasts and chests and cocks and legs parade in front of me on the three-colored pixels of the TV screen. I wrap my hand around my cock and start jerking off in the darkness.
   I know I'll be going back for it tomorrow.
   I'm happy, I guess.